An Interveiw With Fruits Basket!
by KawaiiKittens
Summary: This is going to be the funniest thing you have read about all of the Fruits Basket character. Read to find out what they get up too when they are interviewed to join the party!
1. Shigure!

An Interview with Fruits Basket!  
A/n: Ok everyone, I've looked at all of the stories that I've written recently, and I thought "God… there all a bit serious aren't they!" So I disided to do something fun for a change! It's going to be as if being in Fruits Basket is a day job, you know that they act it out and stuff. I know that they don't really do that, but I thought that it might be fun doing it like that! This is going to be (as the title suggests!) AN INTERVIEW WITH FRUITS BASKET! First up… Shigure! (The things in (brackets) are stage directions!) 

Interviewer: Hi! I'm the one and only Brad Best, I have here with me today the one and only… Shigure Sohma! (audience applause's) He has kindly taken some time out of his hectic schedule to come and see us today! Say hello Shigure!

Shigure: Hello all you gorgeous people out there! (blows kisses out to the crowd) I love you all! Please wait for autographs and signed photos after the show, and remember… no pushing, I know how eager all you fans can get! (laughs heartily)

Interviewer: (scratches back of head) Erm… ok... maybe that was going a bit too far eh? Anyway, lets get on with it shall we!

Shigure: Oh my, (putting hand over mouth in shock) what on earth are you trying to suggest! I am not a filthy as you all may think you know! I'm sorry, but my heart belongs to another… (Putting hand to forehead dramatically)

Interviewer: Oh really, (raises and eyebrow to the audience) and who might that be may I ask? (audience laughs)

Shigure: Tut tut, is someone a wee bit jealous? I know that I'm just totally irresistible, but you could hide it a little bit you know! I thought that a person of your professional status would have a little pride about those things!

Interviewer: Right… erm… ok… that wasn't the answer I was really looking for… but anyway…! What I really wanted to ask you was, what's it like being in the world famous Fruits Basket?

Shigure: OH DON'T GET MY STARTED! It's the best thing in the world. I couldn't ask for a better job! The other co-stars are just truly wonderful, especially in the outtakes; we have a whale of a time! If I told you everything that went on back stage we would be here all day!

Interviewer: Oh we have all the time… on second thoughts… I think your right, NEXT QUESTION! There are rumours circulating that yourself and Ayame Sohma… are… how can I say this when we're live… erm… let me see… dating! Is that true?

Shigure: You really are a little green-eyed monster aren't you? Trying so hard too sneakily find things out about my private life, if you like me that much, I suppose that we could… arrange something. (laughs) What am I like!

Interviewer: (mutters) Yes, exactly what I was just thinking… (returns to normal voice) Look, I think that you're getting the totally wrong idea here mate…

Shigure: OH! Your calling my mate now are you! Whatever next! Things are just going way too fast for my liking; we've only just met! Never in all my life have I met some one that adores me as much as you do! It brings a joyful tear to the eye… (wipes eyes)

Interviewer: Don't you think that you're maybe a little bit full of yourself sometimes?

Shigure: ME? BIG HEADED? NOT A CHANCE! I'm so great that I don't have _time _to be big headed. Do you even have the slightest idea what it's like being as brilliant as I am! But I suppose that I person as low as you on the acting ladder wouldn't really! (laughs annoyingly) You can never be too confident, that's my motto!

Interviewer: (keeps his calm, but ready to bust any minute!) Yes… I can see that… but you still haven't answered the question yet…!

Shigure: I'm sorry but I can't reveal that kind of information, it's classified!

Interviewer: JUST ANSWER THE GOD DAMN QUESTION! I'M RUNNING OUT OF SCRIPT HERE YOU KNOW! (leaps across stage and grabs Shigure roughly, and starts shaking him madly)

Shigure: Now now now, (pats interviewers hand) there's no need to get violent is there? I know that you're driven crazy by the love and passion you have for me, but don't you think that this is going a little but too far eh? I don't agree to hand on contact at least after the second date you know!

(Hatori suddenly appears on the opposite side of the stage)

Shigure: (spots him) Oh look! Here comes my most faithful friend Haa-san! (waves madly) over here Haa-san, over here!

Hatori: Don't worry you moron, I've already seen you, how can I not when you act like such a prat… I'm here to take you home… you've caused enough problem here to last a week… besides, your editor is at your house just about ready to hang herself, I think you had better go and see her.

Shigure: (smiles mischievously) Oh haa-san, you know that I'm only playing with her.

Hatori: Do I? It looks more like torture to me… now come on… home! (grabs back of Shigure's kimono, and drags him off stage)

Shigure: Awwwww! (fake crying) Haa-san your no fun... can't I at least stay for a few more minutes, it was starting to get fun! WAAAAAA!

Hatori: Do you want a simple answer to that?

Shigure: um… (not sure what to expect) …ok…

Hatori: ok then………….. NOOO! (vanishes off stage)

Interviewer: (wipes forehead in relief, and waves heartily goodbye) Thank you sir, thank you… yes that's it take him away. Oh too bad, maybe we can do that again sometime (mutters) not…!

Interviewer: (turns to the audience with open arms) And so that's it ladies and germs! Didn't we bring you a fantastic show this week, make sure that you tune in next time when we'll be interviewing another member of the fantastic Fruits basket crew! Next up… Ayame!


	2. Ayame!

An Interview With Fruits Basket!  
Chapter 2 A/N: Like I said in the last chapter…… it's Ayame! I hope you have fun reading this, cus I sure had fun writing it! R&R please! Please excuse any spelling or grammar mistakes, my PC might have mucked it up! Stupid technology! (Oh by the way, thanks to all the people that reviewed my last chapter)

Interviewer: Hello, and once again welcome to another spectacular 'An Interview With Fruits Basket!" Last week I had a chat with the most dashing and big headed person I have ever met… Shigure Sohma! Let's hope that this week we will be a bit more successful huh! So please everyone, give a big hand to the best man on TV, except for me of course … Ayame Sohma! (crowd goes wild)

Ayame: (appears on stage) Hello! Hello! Yes, I have arrived; the moment you have all been waiting for is at long last here! I hope that I can give you a show that'll stay in your hearts' forever and ever! 

Interviewer: (mutters) Oh no… not again… I haven't even got over the trauma of last week…! (normal voice) Hello Ayame, and welcome! Please make yourself comfortable!

Ayame: (sits down on sofa, and crosses legs) Oh you're so kind, don't mind if I do!

Interviewer: Ok then, where shall we start…! Oh I know… if you don't mind me asking, what is the relationship between yourself and your brother Yuki like?

Ayame: Well… (thinks for a moment) …not to put it too bluntly or anything… I LOVE HIM! Just don't tell him that… if he found out that I said that, I think that he'd send me flying through the roof! But I sure hope that doesn't, because I'm wearing one of my latest designs! (stands proudly, but dramatically, to show off his creation! It's one of his long outfits that reach his knees, dark blue, with silver fastenings.)

Interviewer: Ah yes! And so that leads us onto our next question… how did you come up with that idea of your fabulous shop! We're all dying to know!

Ayame: Ah well, it is a heart-warming tale I am about to tell… (snivels)

Interviewer: (mutters) Oh great… why did I ever ask?

Ayame: You see… one fine summer morning I was walking in the park with my umbrella, listening to the birds humming in the trees… I then came across the most beautiful couple I have ever seen… it was a touching seen to the eye. They were standing on the arching bridge that cascaded over the shining lake. The man was down on one knee, reading out the most touching love poem I have ever heard. The women meanwhile, standing there, weeping with such joy I'm surprised that the lake didn't over flow! While I was standing there…

Interviewer: (mutters) being perverted…

Ayame: (didn't hear him) a thought struck into my wandering mind… was it possible to sell romance…? Romance that was as pure and simple as this…? Leaving the couple, I made my journey slowly home… thinking…

Interviewer: (sighs) How long is this going to last mate?

Ayame: Patience now… I just getting to the good part… as I was saying, I travel slowly home, expanding my new found idea. But suddenly my eye caught this fine young woman on the roadside. As I looked closer, I could see that she was trying to sell the beautiful clothes I have ever seen to passers by, and may I just say, without much luck at all! Walking up to her, I asked her name, it was Mine… AHHH MINE! (goes into one of his dramatic speeches) YES! SHE WAS THE ONE THAT HELPED ME CREATE MY LIFES DREAM! SHE IS THE ONE THAT I OW ALL OF MY SUCCESS TO! SHE HAS TALENT TO MAKE SUCH WONEDERFUL CLOTHES THAT ARE OUT OF THIS WORLD! I COULD NEVER IN MY WILDEST DREAMS THINK OF WORKING WITH ANYONE BUT HER!

Interviewer: (taken a back) Right… ok… that's… erm nice…! NEXT QUESTION! As you probably know, on last weeks show I had a word with your… er… friend Shigure! What can you tell me about your relationship with him?

Ayame: AH HA! Yes Gure-san told me about this! He warned me that you would try to sneakily find things out about us! And my gosh wasn't he right! You may need to get some help you know, maybe for obsessive behaviour; I haven't ever come across someone as eager as you! I suppose we should be flattered really…!

Interviewer: (finally cracks) WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU LOT! HAS THE CURSE THINGY FINALLY GONE TO YOUR OVER SIZED HEAD OR SOMETHING! IT'S MADE YOUR EGO EXPAND TO THE SIZE OF A HUMPBACK WHALE! JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION!

Ayame: Tsk tsk! What's the magic word now?  
Interviewer: DON'T YOU 'WHAT'S THE MAGIC WORD?' ME! ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE MY LIFE AS HARD AS POSSIBLE OR SOMETHING!

Ayame: (looks like he's thinking) …YEP!

Interviewer: AHHHHHHH! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! I WANT A PAY RISE! YOU HEAR ME? I WAN'T A PAY RISE! (interviewer runs off the stage screaming his head off!)

Ayame: Oh dear… what ever is the matter with him…? OH WELL! I guess that I am just going to have to finish the show off by myself!  
(goes right up to the camera, so all you see is his face) Thank you all so much for watching this weeks' episode of 'An Interview With Fruits Basket!' I hope that it was a something to remember! What am I saying? Of course it was something to remember, I was in it! (laughs heartily) Anyway, the next guest to appear on this breath taking show is our hot-headed friend… Kyo Sohma! That of course is if he even decides to show up! (laughs heartily again!) Tune in next week folks!


	3. Kyo!

**_An Interview With Fruits Basket!  
Chapter 3.  
_A/N: Here we go folks, chapter 3 is up, and like the interviewer said last time…. It's…. KYO! I dedicate this chapter to all of those people who have reviewed me in the past! Thanks for your support! (By the way, Kyo might be a bit out of character, if he is, sorry about that!)**

Interviewer: Hello! Hello! Hello! And welcome to another mind boggling show of….. 'An Interview With Fruits Basket!" Now before we get this show on the road, I would just like to apologise to you about last weeks' happenings. I am now getting some help and soon everything should be back to normal! Hopefully…… ANYWAY! I bet you're all dying to meet the guest for this weeks show huh? Well wait no longer! Here he is, the ginger haired cat that we all know and love…….. KYO SOHMA! (crowd cheers!)

Kyo: (comes sulkily onto the stage, and sits down, looking like 'Why the hell am I here!') ………………

Interviewer: (mutters) YES! It looks like this week is going to be A-OK! (normal voice) Hello and welcome Kyo! Thank you for coming to speak with us today!

Kyo: Yo.

Interviewer: Well…. Erm, let's get on with it shall we! FIRST QUESTION! We all know that on stage there is a hint of romance between yourself and the cute Tohru Honda! Can you tell us if you feel the same way about each other out of the show?

Kyo: (interviewer hits a 'sore spot'!) HEY NO WE DON'T! AND DON'T CALL HER CUTE, YOU'RE JUST AS BAD AS THAT STUPID DOG, AND THAT PERVERTED SNAKE!

Interviewer: Oh, erm… ok sorry, didn't mean to offend you Kyon-Kyon….

Kyo: AND DON'T CALL ME THAT! WHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE, AND CALLING ME BY THAT SUPID NAME?

Interviewer: Well… um, I thought that most people called you that… Kyon-Kyon!

Kyo: YEAH! BUT THOSE PEOPLE HAVN'T LIVED TO SEE ANOTHER DAY, AFTER I'VE DEALT WITH THEM!

Interviewer: Oh yes! for And erm… that leads us up to our next question you…. Erm… Kyo! NEXT QUESTION! In Fruits Basket, you are always fighting with the charming, and unbeatable Yuki Sohma, what can you tell me about your relationship out of the show?

Kyo: WHY DOES EVERYONE ALWAYS THINK THAT THAT DAMN RAT CAN BEAT ME! HE'S JUST A PRISSY BOY THAT NEEDS TO GET A LIFE! (turns to the camera) YOU HEAR ME YUKI! I'M GONNA BRING YOU DOWN, SOME DAY, SOMEHOW!

Interviewer: Ok…. So I take it that the… erm… relationship isn't very good then, eh?

Kyo: WHAT KINDA QUESTION IS THAT?

Interviewer: NEXT QUESTION! We all know that you're engaged to Kagura Sohma the bore, what do you think about that arrangement?

Kyo: DON'T MENTION HER NAME! SHE'LL HEAR YOU SAY MY NAME AND COME RUNNING HERE! DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT I NEED THE GREIF OF THAT! WELL DO YA!

Interviewer: (Looses it!) WELL I'M NOT THE ONE THAT'S SHOUTING AT THE TOP OF LUNGS AM I! SHE'LL HEAR YOU FROM A MILE AWAY MATE!

Kyo: SHUT…!

Kagura: Kyo- Kuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnn! My lovvveeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Kyo: … up! (cat ears appear, and droop, mouth hangs open!) Oh no…! Too late…!

Interviewer: See? What did I tell you?

Kagura: I came to meet you Kyo! Aren't you happy!

Kyo: (tries to run away, Kagura catches him, and gives him a big hug!) Get… off… of… me! (muffled)

Kagura: I'm soooooooooooo happy Kyo-Kun, I haven't seen you in ages! I KNOW! LET'S GO ON A DATE!

Kyo: Let's not.

Kagura: Come on Kyo-kun! You can hold my hand. (hold by hand, and drags Kyo off stage!)

Kyo: No…! Let… go! AHHHHHHHH!

Interviewer: (laughs silently, and waves to them!) Awwwwww, don't they make the best couple ever! Bye-bye! Have fun you too, and let your love bloom! (wipes forehead)  
Well, that was hard work to say the least! But at least it was quick! I hope that you enjoyed this weeks show of 'An Interview With fruits basket!' on next weeks show we'll be having a chat with the most beautiful man on earth… Yuki!

**A/N: I know I know, I think that it's quite a lot shorter than the last chapters, but hey! I hope that it was ok! (and I don't think that this chapter was as good as the others, just give me the info people!)**


	4. Yuki

_**An Interview with Fruits Basket!**_

_**Chapter 4**_

Wow! I just looked at how long it had been since I had undated… like ages! So I sat down at my PC and I didn't stop typing still I was satisfied with my work. Please enjoy people, this one may not be as good as the other chapters, but please forgive me anyhow! (By the way, Yuki really doesn't talk very much in this Chapter; the interviewer is taking the 'lime-light' yet again, just to make a change)

Interviewer: Hello! Welcome to the forth night of… AN INTERVIEW WITH FRUITS BASKET! This show is really up and running now, we've had all sorts on here, from the raging Kyo to the perverted Shigure Sohma! Now to top it all off, I'm going to be having a chat with the king of kalerbai high Yuki Sohma! This interview should go a lot smoother than others… I hope… BUT ANYWAY! I have kept you all suspended for long enough, please give the biggest welcome you can manage to the one, the only, YUKI SOHMA!

(Yuki walks on stage, dodging the teenage girls flinging themselves at him)

Interviewer: Welcome welcome welcome Yuki!

(Yuki bows to interviewer and takes a seat neatly on the sofa!)

Interviewer: Thank you for taking time to come and chat with me today! I know what busy life style stars have these days, being one myself of course!

(A mad coughing fits starts somewhere in the audience, with a hint of the word 'not' somewhere)

Interviewer: Hmm…. Yes anyway… ON WITH THE SHOW! What can you tell me about the changes that have happened in your life since your casting in 'Fruits basket'?

Yuki: Well… I suppose I never really had all of the girls having a sudden obsession with me. Before, I only got one or two love letters on Valentine's day… or was that hundred…

Interviewer: One or two… HUNDRED! Wow, it must take a long time to read all of those! Shame I don't get that many… So what advise can you give to those unfortunate guys like me who don't have the best of luck with the ladies?

Yuki: Um…

Interviewer: Oh come on Yuki old pall! You must have some idea how you get all the girls flocking at your feet like ducks to water! Don't you…?

Yuki: Um… well, no not really

Interviewer: I see… damn I'm gunna have to try someone else… maybe that chat line I saw in the back of my magazine… oh s did I just say that out loud, oh f, did I just say s out loud too? ANYWAY! NEXT QUESTION! Um… yes where was I? Ah yes I have it, so how would you describe your relation ship with Kyo Sohma?

Yuki: My relationship with whom?

Interviewer: Um… you know, Kyo… Sohma?

(Yuki looks at interviewer with an expression of total blankness on his face)

Interviewer: Ginger hair… has the loudest mouth in the history of the earth that you need five tones of painkillers to help with the agony of the headache you develop even after just being around him for five minutes…?

Yuki: ……….

Interviewer: …. (Mentally flips) WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR FAMILIES PROBLEM? I'M BROKE AND TOOK UP THIS LAME JOB SO I COULD AFORD TO PAY OFF MY DEPT THAT I BUILD UP AFTER MY DRUG ABUSE… um… I mean

(Presses into his ear so he can hear what is being said into his earpiece)

Interviewer: I have just been said to that I am… officially fired after this programme… NEXT QUESTION! Hang on a minute… did I just say that I was fired

(Looks at Yuki, Yuki looks at him with a grave expression… then nods)

Interviewer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I CAN'T BE FIRED! PLEASE GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE!

(Runs up to camera, and collapses onto hands and knees in front of it)

Interviewer: PLEASE! I NEED THIS JOB… even if it is lame… PLEEEEEEEEASSE! RECONSIDER MR.BOSS…

(Waits for an answer… this isn't one… interviewer the starts to blubber and sob on the studio floor)

Yuki: Umm…

(Interviewer looks up, eyes are puffy and red, then jumps up and knees in front of Yuki with his hands clasped together)

Interviewer: Yuki… my dear sweet Yuki, you know that I didn't mean any of what I said… don't you? You wouldn't let them fire me would you…?

Yuki: ………….

Interviewer: OH NO! EVEN THE GREAT AND ALMIGHTY YUKI THINKS THAT I DESERVE TO BE FIRED! WHAT AM I TO DO? WHAT AM I TO DO? PLEASE !!!

Yuki: I think that it is best if I leave now… forgive me…

(Dashes off stage, dodging the hundreds of girls throwing themselves at him… again)

Interviewer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

THIS ISN'T POSSIBLE! I'M A FAILURE! I WANT MY JOB BACK YOU MOTHERFUC…

(The plug is pulled on show… screen goes blank)

Ok ok ok, I know that this chapter was really REALLY random, but I was just feeling in a really REALLY random mood. It's ok if you don't like it, but just be nice when you R&R, ok?

Thanks dude(ette)s!

Stick around for the next chapter! Adious!


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